The older I get, the greater the sense of urgency I feel to find myself “happy”!
Even though we all define happiness differently, I’ve learned as I wade into my fifties that there are 4 factors that will help us to find happiness and explain why you’re not ….and they are …How You Feel, How You Look, Who You Love and What You Believe.
1. How You Feel:
When you feel good both mentally and physically, you’re better able to focus your attention on other important aspects of your life.
You’re better able to trust your decisions and create a strong and rational foundation on which to build and plan out a life that makes you happy for the long-term.
But when you don’t feel good or are overly stressed or depressed, it can bring everything to a halt. Feeling better becomes your primary focus and until you do, planning and recognizing other opportunities for long-term happiness is unlikely to be your priority.
So simply put, use common sense measures to always take care of yourself, if not, your long-term happiness will have to wait!
2. How You Look:
So, not all of us have the luxury of being drop dead gorgeous but lucky for us being beautiful is not a prerequisite for happiness.
When we find ourselves unhealthily preoccupied with some aspect of how we look, we can get distracted and miss important opportunities that could lead to long-term happiness.
Understand that it is important to take needed measures to look and feel our best but beauty, no matter how it comes will fade. And it’s also important to note that beautiful and healthy are not always synonymous.
You will be better off investing your time, energy and resources in doing those things that ensure your good health and find the time to nurture activities and relationships that build your confidence, courage, and self-esteem. Because unlike beauty, these things will stay with you always and are required tools for building happiness!
3. Who You Love:
They say you can’t help who you fall in love with but I think you can give it a good try!
Falling in love takes time. It takes time to really get to know someone and decide if this person meets all of your necessary requirements for a life partner. But in this era of social media, online dating, facebook love, etc., before you know it, we’re in love and married with children!
And when it all falls apart and odds are it will, you now have to undo all the emotional, legal, and monetary knots to get out of it! At this point, you’ll just want to get through the day without losing your mind and real long term happiness will feel like too much to ask for.
But if you’re already stuck in a loveless & unhappy relationship and you have exhausted reasonable measures to fix it, plan your exit! Know how you intend to meet your needs that are currently covered by the marriage. And execute your plan in a safe and thoughtful way.
So go slow, be prayerful, conscious and intentional with love. Remember that who you love can either solidify your happiness or be the greatest roadblock to it than you could ever imagine!
4. What You Believe:
Hopeful, faithful, prayerful, encouraged, confident, optimistic, positive…the extent to which we possess these qualities helps to determine whether we believe either the best or the worst will happen for us.
If we believe that we’ll be ok or that we can do a thing, it increases the chances that we probably will. If we believe that regardless of how things appear to be today, they will be better tomorrow, we‘ll have reason to remain happy and hopeful.
On the other hand, if we are consistently doubtful, discouraged, cynical, apprehensive, etc. then why even try?! This mindset makes the possibility of any type of happiness, long-term or otherwise highly unlikely.
To strengthen your spirit of belief, do your very best to prepare yourself for what you’re setting out to do, work hard, be prayerful, kind and most importantly, grateful.
Living in this mental and spiritual mindset will not only help to manifest your goals, but it will lay the foundation for happiness that will last you a lifetime!
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